Birthdays

     I consider October to be the start of the holiday season for my family.  That is because we have 2 birthdays 5 days apart this month and from there, it is Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year.  We just start and keep on rolling.  I love it but it sure is busy.  When I was single or even as a DINK, it never seemed as busy as it is now.  And my kids are little!  This week alone - I have my in-laws, J's birthday, my parents, E's birthday party, and Fall Festival.  I am looking forward to next weekend a lot!  I am going to crash and not get up ever again.  Until the following week.
     But that is why I am thankful  this week.  It is because of birthdays.  Today's in particular.  Yes, I have thanked my mother in law and father in law for the son that they produced who became my husband.  I am very grateful for him.  I love him.  He is having  a bit of a hard time being "in his late 30's" but I love it because it means that we have spent one more year together.  I don't think he remembers that we met the not long after his birthday.  In fact, the co-worker that introduced us wanted me to come to his birthday party.  I felt it was too much.  He even says he wasn't his best that night.  Hmmmmm.

      In any case, I am grateful for every year.  Seriously, wasn't he a cutie?
      Happy "late 30's" birthday baby!   (Happy shrimp and grits for me since we are going out tonight!)

Loving Fall

 I I love fall!  I love the decorations and hate the fact that Christmas stuff is already out!  Let's celebrate the good things about this time of year - like sunkissed apples that you pick off the tree!  Pumpkins!  Carrot cake - this is always a fall dessert for us.  Maybe because my husband always wants it for his birthday.  Anyway, check out these really cool ideas for decorating! 

1

2

Made out of dryer tubing!!!  Awesome! 

2

     Below are the links if you want to check them out - always give credit where credit is due!  By the way, have you checked out pinterest?  New love! That is where I got most of my ideas.  I have always loved the wire pumpkins and was thrilled to be able to make 2 for less than the price of one!  

     So the above ideas translated into what is below.  I am pretty impressed with myself!  So are my kids.  E.  Loved the idea when I showed it to her online and suggested the cat.  I found a silhouette, cut it up and voila' a cat!

     (1 of ) My blessing(s) for this week?  The internet.  Crazy, I know, some think it is a curse but sometimes, it is my sanity!  Plus, it makes me happy to step outside and see pretty things and I got it off the internet!  What was your blessing this week?
Enjoy your weekend! 

1. http://www.aubutfamily.com/2010/09/boo-bash-milk-jug-ghost-craft.html
2. http://mycraftymoments.blogspot.com/2010/10/who-said-pumpkins-need-to-be-orange.html

Blogging . . . hmmmm

     Do you know how many blogs that I have started and/or published?  27.  Of those, I have published 16.  It makes you wonder.  I eagerly await new posts from those I follow.  They are cool!  They have cool pages and cool ideas . . .  sigh.  Perhaps it is the perfectionist in me.  I was never one who embraces stream of conscience writing.  Perhaps that is why I have more started blogs than finished. 
     I have a theme.  I even experience that theme more often than I write about.  I mean, if you are constantly looking for blessings, it really isn't that hard to find them. 
    Keeping that in mind, what is a blessing that I had today?  (And perhaps I will make that my goal; to write about a daily blessing.   Hmmm, maybe a weekly blessing would be more reasonable!)
     Let's see. . . Ahhh!
     This afternoon, S. woke up from his nap early.  So I called around my group and found someone willing to go to the park with me.  We were only there for about 40 minutes but that was enough.  That may not seem like a lot but if you are a stay at home parent, it is a big deal.  Even if you are not a stay at home parent, it is a big deal.  That hour or 2 until the spouse comes home can really drag.  The whining that you listened to all day, the chores you didn't get done, trying to make dinner while listening to that children's show that you have heard so often that you can repeat it word for word because it is on EVERY DAY and it is like a song that never ends, never ends, never ends. . .

Inspiration

     I don't blog a lot.  I need inspiration to write and then it is a matter of if I finish it and whether or not I want to put it out into the world.  That being said, I have 20 (gasp!) unfinished blogs.  I think, however, that this one will make the cut.
     See my blog is supposed to be about blessings, even those that are hard to see and hard to imagine.  I think I tend to write about the blessings and when I am inspired and encouraged, it is usually because of a blessing.  I have been blessed with some really good friends.  Friends are supposed to inspire you to be better. I have a friend with a PhD.  Inspiration: obvious!  Maybe I won't but I know I CAN!  I have a friend who is AMAZING with all sorts of crafty stuff.  I know I can always ask her for her opinion or for help on getting around a problem and she has some really good ideas. I have a friend who last year determined to make her life healthier.  She ate better and exercised more.  While I don't anticipate results like hers, I find that eating better and exercising more has effected my attitude.  Because of her, I am trying to be healthier and I like the way I feel.
     Along those same lines is a friend who is promoting healthy, organic eating.  While I am not going to pay any attention to the evils of chicken nuggets (hey, sometimes mental sanity takes priority), I am going to attempt to feed my family better hence, learning to can and garden.
     Canning and gardening are not only healthier for our insides but also for our budget.  Which brings me to the next source of inspiration - couponing!  Last year, J. and I took a Dave Ramsey class.  It taught us a lot or rather retaught  us things that I am sure our parents taught us but it was at the "parents are stupid" stage of our lives.  I like the security of budgeting and knowing where our money is.  I also like having a goal and seeing it happen every pay period.  So I am trying to find ways to keep that sense of accomplishment coming.  TLC's Extreme Couponing is terrifying! Seriously, crazy people! But that is why I am grateful for another friend who has decidedly sensible approach to couponing and blogs about it.  http://lifestylecouponer.blogspot.com.  Great source of inspiration.  Again, I don't know if I will get the 50 or 60 % off that she usually does but it inspires me to really look for the deal.  And, I get a pretty respectable 15 - 20 %!  And that is with my 2 kids! (Next Saturday, going shopping by myself so I am hoping to do a REALLY good job!)
     I guess I could become discouraged because I have all of these amazing people in my life who, according to what I just wrote here, are better at things than I am but I think that is where perspective comes into play.  All of these women are amazing and they are my friends (which must mean that I am contributing something!).  I may not be just like them but that would be boring!
     Now, if I just need someone to inspire me for housekeeping! No, really, anyone?

7 years ago today

Seattle, Washington

     7 years ago today, I was on my honeymoon.
     Yesterday was my anniversary.  I guess I should say "our" since it takes two to get married unless you are Sue Sylvester on Glee (love that show!).  Some might think that occasionally having your anniversary on Father's Day and it always being near Father's Day might make the anniversary part minimal.  For me, it brings into focus the two different parts of this man that I married.  It reminds me of who I married. 

     J.  will tell you that it didn't take long for him to fall in love with me.  He was divorced so I credit him with experience as to what he did or didn't want.  For me, it took a little longer.  I think I was in love with the idea before I was in love with him.  Falling in love with him happened when a friend of mine went to Georgia for her war wedding (so romantic - short summary - her fiance' was being sent over and they wanted to be husband and wife before he went.) J.  went with me.  Together, we did our best to help make this event as much of a traditional American wedding as we could.   It was great and he revealed a lot of his character on that trip.  I really got to know him and the core of his person.  So that and the fact that the bride is one of my best friends and her response was "I like him" as compared to the last response to the guy I dated being "Do you like him, honey?" NOTE:  Friends, especially best ones who REALLY know you, opinions should be taken very seriously.  Anyway, those two factors made me look at him in a different light.  I had really liked him before but I found myself falling in love with him.  I knew that I hadn't made a mistake an truly loved him and all that he was when I sat with him for 2 hours while he flipped through three airline sites to find the best air fare for our honeymoon.

E

     Sometimes, my husband and I will look at each other and ask why do you love me?  Usually, this happens when the askee has been particularly bratty and is asked in a tone of wonder because the other has been extremely patient.  So here it is:

S

I love you because . . . you see me as beautiful, you think I am smart, you make me laugh, we share the same core values, you are a believer, you love children, you respect my parents, you like my friends and they like you, you make me want to be better, you answer stupid questions, you have read poetry, you like science fiction, you are sexy, you have gorgeous eyes, you are very, VERY smart, you can cook, you love our children, you are kind, you are understanding, you are irritating, you are a provider, you are driven to be a better person, you care about the world, you are loyal to your friends, you think it is great to spend the day going to bookstores, you challenge me, you get me.
     I could go on, but there is a word limit, I think. 
     I love my husband because of all these things and seeing him as the father of my children has made me love him more.  I like having my anniversary on Father's Day because I get to see my husband in his two different roles as they overlap.  It makes me all the more glad that I didn't let him go.
Happy Anniversary, sweetheart, and happy Father's Day.

We are the teachers

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/04/teacher-punches-student_n_871112.html
Watch the above link and let's be honest.

I know that my blog doesn't have a national audience.  The only people who read it are friends of mine.  So really, this is just a way for me to express myself and share it with people I know.  I think life is all about perspective so let's change the perspective of the above incident  to a street corner or a grocery store.  Now, who would the charges have been brought against?  Did you SEE the size of that kid? 
I have been in a similar situation.  I saw a 7th grader shove another against the wall.  Both kids were bigger than me and I marched him to the principal's office.  Now, I did not touch this child but his grandmother accused me of shaking him so hard his teeth rattled.  Really, you should have seen this kid.  If it weren't for the fact that another teacher had witnessed everything from start to finish, there might have been a different outcome because I hadn't had the wherewithal to defend myself.   
Child abuse exists and teachers - unfortunately - have been perpetrators.  However, when did respect go out of the classroom and when did common sense?  We should not hurt our children, those born to us and those placed in our care but neither should we be intimidated by them.  We are to teach them and that includes respect.  That child should have been expelled and the teacher should not have had to leave her classroom because that told all the students at that school where the power lies and it doesn't lie with the adults. 

Why did no one think of this before?

I have a friend whose blog is I would say mostly about style.  She is always posting things that she finds for dirt cheap and then uses in her house in some amazing way.  If you want to check out her blog go to http://mapleleavessycamoretrees.blogspot.com/ Really, it is very cool.  The point?  Well, she re-purposes some stuff (see table turned ottoman) and it got me to thinking:  S. received a picnic table for his birthday - thank you very much Grammy and Grandpa! - and we set it up in the living room so that the kids could eat on it for his birthday dinner.  Seeing it there made me think that this would be the perfect coffee table!  No, really!  It matched my decor (sort of) and it would have a dual purpose - something that I love for things to have!  It would be awesome!  I tried the idea on my sister and she didn't seem convinced.  Just wait though, when she has baby Whatsit in July, I think that she will come over to the dark, I mean, my side! 

A week later . . .

So here are more pictures of my garden.  This is about a week later.  The reason why I am so happy about it is because I can see how it is going to look in a couple of years when it fills out!  It makes me so very happy! 

Of course, these 2 make me very happy.  We went to a little lake front beach near our house this week.  The weather was beautiful and our friends were there to play with.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been if J. was there too.







Lesson for Mom:  When spraying sun block on your self (because if you forget, your husband will scold you because you aren't taking care of yourself and then go and buy you the spray because you complain that he isn't there to get your back), make sure you get every spot.  Otherwise, you might miss a 4 by 6 section on your arm that will get burnt while the rest of you (and your children) will be fine.  

outside

This is what I see outside my window

Once upon a time, I did not enjoy being outdoors.  If I got in trouble, I was sent outdoors; not to my room.  It was a family joke.  It wasn't that I didn't like the outdoors, I just preferred the quiet of my room.  I could get away from my siblings and their craziness.  I could read in peace.  I was able to sit on something soft to read in quiet.  I am a very solitary person.  Sometimes given to thinking way too much - okay, all the time but the point of this ramble is that, I never used to like the outdoors. 

And now, I do.
I love to garden.  I like to see flowers blooming and sit in the sun.  It isn't any

Front yard - just imagine next year when this is all filled out!

 quieter outside then when I was a kid.  But I like it.  I like to see some effort in what I am doing and know it is my choice.  My parents laugh because they say I used to grumble and complain about gardening.  Ok, folks, it wasn't gardening, it was weeding and if you don't get the joy of planting and only have the "cleaning".   It is also not gardening if you don't get to PICK out the plants.  I mean, it was vinca that we were weeding.  My parents used to say that they planted the vinca so that when we were gone, it would have spread and THEY wouldn't have to weed.  Know what? They ripped out the vinca!

I love the irises! 

But now, I get to plant and weed my own garden! We have a raised bed for vegetables for my husband since he loves veggies - even brussel sprouts but the flower beds are for me.  Most of the flowers are summer flowers but recently, I have been putting in some spring flowers.  It makes me happy to see something pretty in my yard.  They are all perennials and I keep adding to them every year.  Someday soon, they will fill out.  I like imagining that day.

Just imagine, that knockout rose in a couple of weeks!

I hope that you have some flowers that are growing in your yard and if not, enjoy mine!  

Jealousy

I just had a good friend tell me that their house sold after being on the market for only a couple of weeks.  Not only that, but they had 5 (FIVE) offers.  And she is building her dream home.  I had another friend tell me that she is expecting their 5th (what is it with this number?  Maybe I should play the lottery with it.  Can you just roll 5's?) child.  

So what does this have to do with jealousy?  J. and I have tried to sell this house twice.  It has been on the market for 18 months and 1 year at 2 different times.  It is a nice house.  Perfect for a young couple but even better for an older couple. It is the house he bought while married to his ex-wife.  That isn't really the problem; it is just not a house I would have bought.  I  probably would have considered it but maybe not bought it.  

If you know me, then you know my story as to why jealousy is a theme.  I did want 3 kids.  A ruptured uterus, however,  is not something to gamble with. 

But this isn't about me being jealous but rather the lack of it and it makes me happy.  It makes me think that I am growing because I am just happy for my friends.  

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven: 

Ecclesiastes 3 :1

This verse has been used so much that sometimes it comes across as cliche'.  It is unfortunate that some truths get that way.  Maybe it is an indicator of how truthful they are.  I am content in my house.  I am doing things in it that (in my mind) make it beautiful.  I am learning how to do things or not do them for my dream house. And I have the added benefit of seeing how my friend does hers so that I won't copy her mistakes!  He he.  It also gives me hope that when the time is right, God is going to MOVE.  

I am very happy with my 2 beautiful children.  I think that is all I can handle.  Sometimes, I get wistful for another baby but then I just talk to my brother who has an ADORABLE 7 month old and I am good.  J. and I prayed about it before our son was born and this is the answer we got.  We feel like we landed and can really start doing things now that we aren't planning for another little one.  Our family of 4 is what works for us. 

Maybe, I am a little jealous but I am working on it and it passes quickly.  I hope that the house building goes smoothly and there are no problems. I hope the pregnancy is easy and the baby is healthy.  Did I mention that this friend has like 2 hour labors?  Now that is something to be jealous about!  

Enjoy your Easter and praise God for the blessings that you have!

Tales from the other side of school- part 1

E. turns 5 this fall.  Not soon enough to start school but it is soon enough that some of her little friends are starting.  This means that the conversations are all about good schools, bad schools, charter schools, shifting lines, teachers, etc and how quickly 5 years have flown by.
It has made me start thinking about teaching and the whole education process again.  I have so many, many thoughts about this; hence the title.  I think there will be several blogs about it. I am not sure how to transition my thoughts into something smooth so I think the best approach is to hold my breath and dive right in.
Here goes. . .
There is nothing wrong, in my opinion, with the education system as is.  It is the same system that we have had for over a 100 years.  We have tried different "gimmicks" that all have slightly different names but are essentially the same- just read turn of the (last) century novels.  So what is the problem?
Again, my opinion is that it starts before the kids get to school. No, I don't think that we should start school sooner.  It starts with the parents.  COME ON PEOPLE!  There is a reason why Super Nanny is so popular.  Look, I am not saying that bad parents turn out bad kids or that good parents have good kids.  Sometimes, the horse won't drink when you lead it to water - clear or brackish.   But I am saying that we need to look beyond poor schools to the home life.
This is in no way saying that I have got it figured out or that I am going to win awards for parenting or that my kids won't have issues in school.  Case in point.  All 4 of us were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.  Mom, Dad, 4 year old and 2 year old.  First time!  It was fun!  S. (2 year old) thought this was great!  Loud noises!  Little balls!  Being included!  Whoo hoo!  Then he decided that he would just scoop up the balls and shove them in the hippos mouth.  The parents thought this was hilarious!  Well, it got a laugh out of mom and dad, right?  So the 4 year old did it.  Now, if there is one thing her dad can't stand - it is cheating.   Poor E.  had to sit out a game and got a talking to.  Now, is it would I have done?  No, the concept of cheating is new so we would have explained it and then if it happened again, well, there would be consequences.
That is one example but I can't tell you the number of times I have lost it!  So my parenting isn't the best but there is something wrong with society when teachers need unions for the lawyers in order to protect themselves from parents who didn't like the verbal reprimand that the teacher gave the kid for throwing another kid up against the wall (and then walked him to the office for further punishment).  Yeah, like I really shook the kid who had a foot and 50 lbs on me!
That is just wrong.  There is something wrong here.  And it isn't just the schools that are at fault.

Homework

I called my dad to apologize today.  Usually, I call my mom but that is because I usually apologize for doing to her what my kids do to me.  Today, it was my dad.  You see, my dad is an engineer.  And other than my husband, is probably one of the smartest men I know (strangely, my brothers are in the top 10 of smartest men I know too.  hmmmm, to be explored later!).  So when we had a math or science question, we usually went to dad - after all, he is an engineer and graduated from Cornell.  As much as I love and admire my dad and as smart as he is, helping his kids with their math homework wasn't his forte.  He seemed to think that if we didn't get it the first time he explained it, it must have been because we weren't listening aka hadn't heard.  So his method of instruction was to repeat the same explanation but louder.  Now, imagine yourself as a 13 year old girl full of hormones, sitting at the kitchen table trying to understand what your dad is saying as he repeats it for the 4th or 5th time and his voice as risen to a roar until he finally gets up in frustration and leaves the room.
My poor dad.  He did try.  He just had no teaching strategies classes and couldn't seem to understand that it wasn't what he was saying but how that wasn't working.
So why the apology? As brilliant as my children are, at 2 and 4, they are not up to algebra but trying to recognize all the their numbers or get past 3.  I am tutoring an 8th grader in algebra (irony, I am an english teacher!).  I have the benefit of lots of teaching classes behind me so I know that roaring will not bring about enlightenment.  I know that there are different ways to say the same thing over and over - I cut out paper, used visual aids, etc.  At the end of the hour, I thought I saw a nightlight flick on in this 8th graders head.  Yeah!  Hope all goes well on the test tomorrow!
But I called my dad because I know how difficult grasping a concept like Pythagorean theorem is for that developmental stage and I know how much we tease him for his "strategies" that he used with all 4 of us.  He is good-natured about it and usually shakes his head.  We all passed, didn't we?
Still, it makes me think at how easily I look at the text book and grasp concepts that I struggled with so much.  Perhaps it is because I can grasp more complex concepts now.  My kids are struggling with the concepts of order and shapes representing numbers.  Someday, I will have to ask them to understand unknown numbers too!  But I think that we really do understand things better or more fully as we get older.  That is why I call to apologize to my mom for always telling her that the house looked great when she said it was a mess (never thought it was a mess but now I understand what she meant.  Don't worry, you will too if you haven't already.) and why I call my dad to apologize for not understanding the math.  You do the best you can as a parent. 

I am just glad that my parents are still helping me with my homework.

Why we have kids . . .

God gave us children so that we would see him in our parenting. 
The weather here is beautiful.  We ran errands this morning (no diapers - AHHHHH!!) and came home.  I told the kids that they could play outside.  We have a sand box and a water table.  My oldest asked for water for the table.  I gave her a gallon of water and told her that was it.  No water and she was not to get any from the outside faucet - we have had this problem before.  
Ok, Mommy! 
They were playing so nicely - no fighting but then I heard a sound.  I followed the sound around the corner, where out of direct sight, the faucet was.  It was on.  There was a small pool of water that they were both happily playing in. 
Off goes the water.  Out come the questions:
"Did you turn the water on?"
"No.  Little Brother did it." 
"I told you no water."  As little brother starts to cry and turn on the faucet.
"But Little Brother wanted water."
"Little Brother can't turn on the faucet.  Turn around."
"No Mommy!  I don't want a pop!"
"Well, you lied and you turned on the water.  You are getting a pop."
"But I am sorry!"
"You are still getting a pop. * * Now, go sit on the porch."
Later . . .
"Why did you get a pop?"
"I don't know."
Later still . . .
"Why did you get a pop?"
"Because I turned on the water and said I didn't. But I am really sorry."
Ahhh, See here is the God reminder.  How many times do we do the same thing?  We do what we aren't supposed to and then cry sorry?  I know that we aren't perfect and my daughter is only 4  and so right now she is playing in the pool of water; after all, she was punished and it is too great a temptation to play in it (wouldn't you?) and I don't want to punish her again for disobeying if I tell her she can't.  Sometimes, we just don't listen and need a reminder.  I will probably have to remind her again not to turn on the water and not to lie just as I will have to be reminded again not to do whatever. 
"I am glad that you are sorry.  But I would rather you obeyed me from the beginning than have to apologize for it later." 

Yes, that is what I said to her.  She hugged and kissed me (really, there is nothing better that those hugs and kisses from my kids) and laughed when I told her to go stomp in the water.
I am glad that my Father loves me and kisses me and reminds me to obey.  I am glad that he gave me children to remind me of it.

Valentine's Day

This was never a favorite holiday of mine.  It just seemed bizarre to me.  One because I never seemed to have a valentine and two because shouldn't we show love every day?  Ok, the later one makes me sound more noble but I think it was the former that I was more concerned about when I was younger.  Now, I am more mature, hmmmm.

The first year we were together, I told my husband I wanted flowers sent to school.  I insisted upon it, in fact.  He was not happy but I made it an issue.  It was a status thing.  I even told him that he didn't ever have to do it again - just once.   I was exorcising a demon.   I got the flowers but he was not happy about being "forced" to do it.  Oh well!  Demon exorcised.  He still brings me flowers but they are more for surprise or apology than for occasions.  I actually would rather have a whole plant than cut flowers but I will gratefully take either.

After I met my husband and the bliss of actually having a "valentine" on Valentine's Day, it seemed a little redundant.  Here was the love of my life.   He showed me every day that he loved me and I did the same for him.  Why a special day to demonstrate it?

Now, though, we have 2 wonderful children.  Sometimes, we don't always take the time to get flowers or make a special treat or surprise each other.  It is not that the love has changed - he still knows me better than anyone and he is still my best friend - we are just too busy or tired to think about it.  So the idea of a day where we are "forced" to demonstrate love for each other suddenly
makes sense (just so long as you keep expectations realistic!).
I also like the idea of doing all the kitchy things for
my kids.

So, I don't think that Valentine's Day was invented by the greeting card companies, I think it was invented by a set of parents of young children who needed a reminder to show each other that they still loved each other as much as when they first met!
And red at the tail end of winter is a pretty good pick me up.
Happy Valentine's Day

Random January Thoughts

So I have started 3 different blogs but haven't posted any thoughts.  I blame the holidays.  It is always easier to blame something other than yourself.  But right now, the kids are watching Wonder Pets and J. is off to a Brew Club Meeting so I have nothing to do for the next 40 minutes  - well, I am not counting on the dishes or vacuuming or toys that need to be picked up.

The holidays - for me, it starts with birthdays in October.  There are 2 and they are a week apart.  Fun.  Then there is halloween and Thanksgiving and then the mad dash to the end of the year.  This year, we even decided to take a cruise.  Just the 2 of us.  It was wonderful!  I highly recommend all parents of young children to do so!  It was nice to get away.   It is nice to remember why we got married in the first place - don't get me wrong - we still had a "discussion" but what can you expect when you are together for 6 days straight?
"Discussions" aside, we had such a good time that we decided we needed to get away again next year.
The nice thing is that when we got the kids, their grandparents said the same thing.  I guess they didn't mind watching the kids!
And now the holidays are over! Yeah! And my least favorite month is almost over!  Yeah! I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I enjoyed taking them.  May the snow stop soon!